On My own, Last of the TimeLords
by emmyds
Summary: The Doctor deals after leaving Rose in the alternate universe on Bad Wolf Bay. Skips 'The Runaway Bride,' goes straight to 'Smith and Jones' after a slight Torchwood crossover. Rated T for strong language and implied sexual themes. If I get three positive reviews I will post the next longer chapter.
1. Chapter 1

"God damn it!"

He slammed his fist against the TARDIS wall as he realized his time was up. The transmission was abruptly cut off as the gap in the universe sealed itself, never to re-open. The hologram of himself had disappeared from Bad Wolf Bay, and he would never be able to speak to or even see her again.

He had just been about to say it, but all he could say was "Rose Tyler," and he was gone.

_Did she know how that sentence would end? _He thought. _Dear God, I hope she knows._

He didn't think he would be able to continue if he wasn't sure she knew how that sentence ended.

Because he truly did love her. With all of his to hearts. He had since he first met her. She was beautiful, funny, and clever. She had to be clever to save him from the Nestine Consciousness. The greatest thing about Rose Tyler, though, was that she loved him back.

They used to fantasize about having a real future together. A future where it was just the two of them traveling through time and space together forever. They both knew that this was an impossibility. Rose was bound to wither and die, while the Doctor would look as if he hadn't aged a day.

The Doctor tried to push these thoughts out of his mind and pushed a few buttons on the TARDIS console; he needed to _do _something, _go _somewhere. The universe didn't stop getting in trouble because the Doctor didn't feel like saving them. But who would save him? The Doctor: Last of the Time-Lords, child of Gallifrey. Who would save _him_?


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor landed his T.A.R.D.I.S on a deserted moon to sort out his thoughts. He was completely and utterly broken, with no way to heal himself. Only one person could fix this and she was trapped in an alternate universe.

She had fixed him after the Time-War. She had made him feel as though he could be happy again, despite the gaping hole in his heart where the rest of his race used to reside.

But there was no way she could help him now. Just one more of her love-filled gazes, one more of her knee-weakening kisses that always left him wanting more; Even a simple look, bursting with all the love and happiness she had. Anything would make it better. But there was nothing.

No! He had to stop this! There were people to meet, planets to save . . . But it wouldn't be the same without Rose. She was more than just beautiful. She was clever – Sometimes even more clever than he was! But now he had no one. He was alone.

He could keep traveling. It wouldn't be the same, but he could. There were plenty of people who would jump at the opportunity to travel through time and space, sure. He could hide his emotions behind his trademark goofy grin and messy hair; no one would be any the wiser.

But love was what he was missing. The Doctor knew that he would never be able to love again. Not like he had loved her.

He sat down and leaned against the wall. He pulled up his knees and hid his face in his hands, trying in vain to to fight the tears that were already spilling down his face.

The Doctor thought of the beautiful, blond companion – _His _beautiful blond – and all of their shared adventures.

They had been to the 2012 London Olympics, saw ghosts with Charles Dickens, met the last 'pure human, and they had even done some investigating with Sarah Jan and K-9.

Not to mention the adventures that had taken place _inside _ of the T.A.R.D.I.S; Although these stories weren't as heroic as the ones about battling Daleks and Cybermen, they involved just as much screaming.

The Doctor's broken sobs gradually turned into howls of hurt and anger as he the full weight of his situation fell on him like an anvil:

_He would never be able to see Rose Tyler again. _He racked his brain, determined to remember every detail of his lover. Every memory brought another round of sobs.

Her voice when she said "I love you." The feel of her hand in his. Her smile when he told "Run!" Her eyes when she first saw him every morning after –

He inhaled deeply in order to calm himself down, but this did nothing. The tears kept falling and ugly sobbing noises did not cease to emerge from his throat.

He wished he could just forget the whole thing.

No!

He wanted, no, _needed _to keep her with him always. To just _forget_ would be an insult to Rose, and the Doctor wouldn't be able to do that.

But maybe, if there was a way to forget for only a few days – just to remember what it was like to be happy. It most certainly wouldn't help him get over her – he would never get over her and he knew it.

But it might help him conceal his sorrow.

Nobody would trust an broken Doctor.

He knew what he could do.

He had made his decision.

The Doctor set the coordinates and was off.


End file.
